“If you want to know your past – look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future – look into your present actions.” ~ Chinese Proverb.
The first ever time I went to the clubs was when I was around 18 years old. I was with a group of friends and I remember how much I hated being inside the club. The music was so loud. I was partially deaf for the next 3 days. I was shy. I didn’t like dancing. Most of all, in order to enjoy myself I must try hard. Clearly, spending my entire time sitting down in a far corner with a drink in my hand, devoid of anyone’s company was evident enough of how much fun I was having. It was at this time that I made a conclusion to myself I wasn’t yet quite qualified to make; I hated clubbing.
A few days later, little did I know that I would be clubbing again. As it turns out much more investigation was required. I thought I knew in my hearts of heart that I would never come back though in a strange change of events I went. It could’ve been peer-pressure or boredom. Whatever the reason was, I felt compelled to come back. I was enduring the bitter taste of beer; I remember I would go to the loo and vomit every sip I took. I was pretending to be happy dancing at the tune of Lady Gaga but silently I wondered how anyone could bring themselves flailing their bodies around for endless hours. Without fully realizing it, it hit me that I enjoy the music. I like Lady Gaga. But not dancing.When I got to university, all these would change. Living for the first time away from family meant three things for me: freedom, independence and self-awareness.
It was a big transition taking a trip to my fridge and expecting food all the time. Where I was living in university, everything was divided. Most of the time the journey to the kitchen is not as satisfying as when I was back home in my parents house. Club events became inevitable for me. Every Wednesday and Friday there were student nights out. After living away for only a month I had totally change from the person I was back then. It came a surprise to me too but I had found myself attending these student nights out every week. And when I was not satisfied, I would even explore other night clubs in Central London or around the area. At this point, I started liking what I used to hate.
It must have been the company I was with or simply participating in the student culture of our university. But changes in your environment, time and constant repetitions of routines, if it concerns what’s for you and not for you and who you are things can change. The person you were can not define you nor does your future self. What you do and think now is the person that matters. That’s all it takes to make change happen in your life. It is to accept that nothing is permanent and like the seasons of the year we go through this continuous cycle with or without our awareness. Ultimately, this accumulation of experiences made me learn how to learn and unlearn things. We don’t necessarily have to force our selves to make change happen. We just have to wait and let nature take its course.